About

“The thing is to stalk your calling in a certain skilled and supple way, to locate the most tender and live spot and plug into that pulse.” — Annie Dillard

Just like most of you, I am a 9-to-5 wage slave. And just like you, I have way more to offer the world than the skills outlined in my job description. Rather than ignore that something more, I have set out to harness it and put it to good use.

But first, I need an escape plan. I need to quit my job … but carefully!

Transitioning into more meaningful work is going to be tricky. I don’t want to make any sudden leaps that I’ll regret. I’m pretty wary of such leaps, having taken one 5 years ago that resulted in financial disaster. This time, I’m determined to make strides, instead.

Strides … towards what, exactly? I fully acknowledge that I don’t know exactly where I’ll wind up. If I’ve learned one thing in life, it’s that your life plan takes you everywhere except where you thought you were going.

Escape Artist is just a place where you can read about the journey. Wish me luck…!

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GOALS

Within six months, I would like to be on a radically different creative/professional track. Specifically, I’m aiming to:

- Take my work freelance.

- Study yoga more intensively and possibly become certified to teach.

- Spend lots of time writing to build a better portfolio for graduate school applications.

****Unrelated to the daily grind, but very relevant to the notion of escape, is the fact that I also want to a) travel and b) relocate.

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STATISTICS

OFFICE / ENVIRONS

1 Number of sewing factories–sweatshops–formerly occupying my entire office building.

1 Promotions recently earned and accepted (however ironically, given my fierce desire to quit).

1 Utter, complete, total sociopaths working in my cubicle area.

36 Perfectly good trees (at minimum) that have been chopped down and turned into full-color, semi-gloss, direct-mail marketing collateral in the past year thanks to my oh-so-stellar project management efforts.

0 Working coffeemakers in our office kitchen.

0 Expected bonus this year.

GEOGRAPHY

6.5 Years I have lived in the sparkling, shallow, Disney-esque (yet irresistible!) city of San Francisco.

6.5 Months more I plan to stay in the sparkling, shallow, Disney-esque (yet irresistible!) city of San Francisco.

2856.85 Current distance (in miles) from family and hometown.

3 Hours daily spent in transit to and from downtown San Francisco.

AMBITION

1 Children’s book manuscripts currently circulating with major publishers.

2 Rejections received thus far for above manuscript.

2 Writing groups of which I remain formally a member, despite a gross lack of attendance since early summer.

4 Average days per week I actually pull myself together and practice yoga.

1 Upcoming interviews to secure possible freelance gig.

VANITY

15 Pairs of pantyhose that have been added to my wardrobe in the last year, thanks to the “smart-casual” dress code at my office.

1 Dye jobs I have finally gotten to cover my Elvira-gray hair, which is multiplying rapidly with the stress of working at an ill-fitting day job.

3 Average hours per week spent window-shopping at stupid malls and discount stores, simply because a) I happen to work in the middle of consumerland, b) my brain is too fried from writing marketing copy to do anything but sample lipsticks, and c) I am a sucker for the bargains at Ross.